


Trust

by PearlRuby



Category: Ratched (TV)
Genre: Coming Out, F/F, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:15:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27217036
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PearlRuby/pseuds/PearlRuby
Summary: Mildred Ratched and Betsy Bucket have come a long way since their first meeting. But there's still one thing Mildred hasn't opened up to her about.Essentially, my take on how Betsy finds out about Mildred and Gwendolyn.
Relationships: Gwendolyn Briggs/Mildred Ratched
Comments: 10
Kudos: 98





	Trust

**Author's Note:**

> So this is a bit different to my first couple of fics, but I hope it's ok. I know a few other people have already written about this, but I decided I'd quite like to write my interpretation too. Hope you enjoy.

“I think that’s everything,” Mildred declares, shutting the suitcase with a flourish. She smiles at Gwendolyn, who’s sitting perched on the end of the bed. “We’re all ready to go now.” 

She glances around the – now very bare – motel room, where they’ve stopped off to collect the few belongings Mildred hadn’t had chance to take with her when she spontaneously moved in with Gwen. Louise has been so preoccupied with her new job at the hospital that she’s never bothered to force Mildred to properly move out of the room, and Mildred herself had all but forgotten the place. But in the morning she and Gwendolyn will be starting their journey to Mexico, so Mildred had decided that it was finally time to reclaim the few blouses and nightgowns that she had previously thought too unimportant to take up space in Gwendolyn’s wardrobe. 

Now that all of her belongings are packed and ready to go, Mildred allows herself to finally imagine the future that’s in store for her. She still can’t quite believe how quickly her life has changed. Not so long ago, she’d been convinced that the world had nothing to offer her but fear and pain. Now she’s about to leave behind everything connected with her past suffering, and embark on a new adventure with the most incredible person she’s ever met. It all seems too good to be true. Of course, Gwendolyn’s illness casts a dark shadow over Mildred’s happiness. But Mildred remains convinced that they can find a doctor to cure her. They have to, because the alternative is unthinkable. 

Gwendolyn has been strangely quiet whilst Mildred has been packing, and Mildred is starting to get concerned. She walks over to the bed and sits down next to Gwen, pulling her close and resting their heads together. 

“What are you thinking about?” she asks softly. 

“Oh ... a lot of things. I just can’t believe this is actually happening. The whole time you were planning it, it felt like a dream, and now that it’s here...” 

“You do still want to go though, don’t you?” Mildred asks, suddenly apprehensive. She knows that Gwendolyn has had her doubts about going to Mexico, but she thought that she’d managed to help her overcome them all by now. 

“Of course I do, Mildred. I want to be wherever you are,” Gwendolyn replies, her voice so full of adoration that it makes Mildred blush, “It’s just a lot to process, leaving everything behind like this." 

“We’ll build a new life out there, a good life,” Mildred promises her, lifting her hand to cradle Gwen’s face, “You’ll get better, and we’ll make so many happy memories that we won’t even think about this place any more.” 

Gwendolyn nods, and gives Mildred a shaky but genuine smile. 

“Although ...” Mildred continues, a hint of mischief creeping into her voice, “It would be a terrible shame to leave without putting this bed to proper use.” 

In one fluid motion, Mildred swings her leg over Gwendolyn’ waist and pulls herself over so that she’s straddling her lover. Gwendolyn raises an eyebrow. 

“I thought you already did that with that hitman.” She retorts playfully, and there’s no mistaking the hint of jealousy in her voice. Mildred chuckles and rolls her eyes. 

“I'm not counting him if you’re not. I barely acknowledged him even while it was happening. I ...” she hesitates, her face turning red before the words come tumbling out, “I was thinking of you the whole time.” 

“Oh, really?” Gwendolyn smirks, unable to keep from being rather smug, “and what, may I ask, was I doing in these little fantasies of yours?” 

Deciding to show rather than tell, Mildred crushes her lips against Gwendolyn’s, kissing her hungrily. Gwendolyn eagerly reciprocates, tangling her fingers in Mildred’s hair. Mildred feels a familiar, delightful heat course through her body as she starts to unbutton Gwendolyn’s shirt, her fingers clumsy with impatience. She moans as Gwendolyn’s tongue slips into her mouth, and her brain feels as though its filling with fog. 

The fog immediately clears, however, when she hears the door open. 

Gripped by panic, Mildred jumps off of Gwendolyn and turns around to see Betsy Bucket standing in the open doorway, a bottle of wine in her hand and her face contorted with shock. 

Betsy opens her mouth to speak, but she can’t seem to form her thoughts into words, and nothing comes out except a stuttered “What?”

Mildred’s first instinct is to deal with this the same way she’s always dealt with problems; by hiding, denying, lying. But she knows it’s no good; Betsy's keen eyes have already taken in Mildred’s dishevelled hair, Gwendolyn’s half-unbuttoned shirt, the lipstick smudged over both their faces. There will be no fooling her now. 

She approaches Betsy slowly, not wanting to alarm her already stunned friend even further. 

“Betsy,” she says gently, “Can I talk to you outside, please?” 

Still not quite capable of speech, Betsy merely nods and steps back over the threshold of the doorway. 

“You should probably stay in here,” Mildred quietly tells Gwendolyn, “She’ll be less overwhelmed with just one of us, and she knows me better than you.” 

Gwendolyn nods, and Mildred follows Betsy outside and closes the door. Betsy's face looks as though it’s been carved from stone, and Mildred feels her stomach twisting into knots as she struggles to think of the best way to go about an explanation. Fortunately, Betsy has now found her tongue, and saves Mildred the trouble of speaking first. 

“So it would seem your reasons for helping Miss Blix and Mrs Cartwright escape were more personal than you let on.” Mildred can’t tell if her tone is joking or scathing, and it’s incredibly unnerving. 

“Betsy, please,” Mildred begs, “I know this must be a shock for you. Honestly, it was a shock for me too. But me and Gwendolyn ... I love her. And, God knows why, but she loves me too. Please, can you at least try to understand that?” 

Until this moment, Mildred hadn’t realised how much Betsy's friendship meant to her. Their relationship has certainly come along way from its hostile beginnings, but only now does Mildred realise how far, now that she’s faced with the possibility of undoing all that progress. The idea of Betsy rejecting her, treating her with disgust, hurts more than she could have imagined, and she looks at her friend with imploring eyes, silently begging for acceptance. 

“I’m honestly not sure what I understand, Mildred,” Betsy's tone is no longer impassive. She sounds confused and, to Mildred’s surprise, pained, “I always knew you had a good deal of secrets, but this ...” she pauses, and Mildred is shocked to see that her eyes are filling with tears, “Why didn’t you tell me? I thought we were friends now. Why would you feel the need to keep this from me?” 

It takes a moment for Mildred to comprehend these words, to understand that Betsy’s problem isn’t the secret itself, but the fact that it wasn’t shared with her. This certainly isn’t the kind of reaction Mildred had been expecting, and she finds herself somewhat baffled by Betsy's logic. 

“How can you ask that, Betsy?” the question sounds more accusatory than Mildred had intended, “After the way you treated Miss Blix and Mrs Cartwright? After I watched you giving that awful hydrotherapy to -" 

“But you can’t have thought I would do that to you?” Betsy interrupts, and tears are falling freely down her face now, “I know I haven’t been kind to you in the past, but now ... I care about you Mildred. Really, I do. I hoped that you felt you could trust me.” 

“I’m afraid I’ve never been much good with trust,” Mildred sighs, “Besides, it wasn’t as if it were just my secret to tell. If anything were to happen to Gwendolyn ...” Mildred shudders at the mental images of her darling Gwen locked in a hydrotherapy tub, lying unconscious on a lobotomy table. Tears start to fill her eyes, and Betsy lays a comforting hand on her shoulder. 

“You really do love her, don’t you?” 

Mildred nods, and she searches her mind for a way to make Betsy truly understand, for any words that could possibly begin to explain what Gwendolyn means to her. 

“It’s like I didn’t even know what love was before I met her. I spent my whole life seeing every other person as a threat, just waiting for them to hurt me or betray me. But Gwendolyn ... she’s so good, so kind ... I never imagined someone like her could exist. Somehow I always just knew that I was safe with her. When I’m with her, I feel seen, and wanted, and happy, for the first time in my life. I know I don’t deserve to feel like that, but she makes me believe that I do. And all I want is to spend the rest of my life making her feel that way, too.”

After Mildred finishes speaking, there is a moment of silence. Betsy is clearly deep in thought, and Mildred gives her time to process everything. When Betsy finally speaks, it’s as though she’s talking more to herself than to Mildred; her eyes are fixed on something that only she can see. 

“I feel I owe you a full explanation of my mind. You see, I was raised in a Catholic family, and I was taught that homosexuality was the most terrible sin. Later, I trained as a nurse, and I was taught that homosexuality was a disease that needed to be cured. A different idea to the one I’d been brought up with, but still, the underlying message was clear. But when you spoke just now, I searched for any sign of sin or sickness, and I couldn’t find any. I hear all of my old teachings in my head telling me that I should feel disgusted, and it’s incredibly confusing to find that I don’t. Deep down, I know that if I’d ever got a hint that Dr Hanover loved me even half as much as you love Gwendolyn, I’d have run down to the nearest church and booked a wedding date.” 

Betsy begins to laugh, and Mildred laughs with her. In that moment, the air is completely cleared between them, and they both know that they are even better friends than they were before. 

“You know, I need to ask you something,” Mildred says once the laughter has died down, “How did you get into the motel room? Come to think of it, why did you even come here in the first place?” 

“I never returned the key Louise gave me when I broke into your room with the recorder,” Betsy explains, a sly smile on her face, “and as for what I’m doing here, I know that you’re going West to start your new job tomorrow, and I’ve been too busy at the hospital to say a proper goodbye, so I thought I’d turn up and surprise you with a parting gift.” 

She hands Mildred the bottle of wine she’s still clutching. Mildred considers just thanking her and saying her goodbyes; this whole conversation has left her too drained for a drawn-out farewell. But she decides that, after everything that’s passed, she can’t let Betsy leave without telling her the whole truth. 

“Well, firstly, you’re very lucky that you found me here at all. I’ve been living at Gwendolyn's for a while now. And secondly, there is no job out West. That was just a rumour we spread to throw people off our scent,” Mildred decides that she doesn’t need to explain that ‘people’ means ‘Edmund’, “I’m actually taking Gwendolyn to Mexico. I’m hoping to find a doctor there who can cure her.” 

"Mexico, huh?” Betsy’s eyes light up, “well isn’t that something?” 

Mildred smiles, but there’s a hint of sadness in her eyes. 

“I’m really going to miss you, Betsy.” 

“I never thought I’d hear myself saying this, but I’m really going to miss you too, Mildred Ratched.” 

Betsy opens up her arms and pulls Mildred into a tight hug. Mildred instinctively tenses at the physical contact, before allowing herself to relax and wrap her arms around Betsy. They hold each other for a long moment, each reluctant to let go. Eventually, Betsy pulls away and gives Mildred a watery smile. 

“Send me a postcard, won’t you?” 

Mildred smiles. “You can count on it.” 

Betsy turns and begins to walk away. Before she’s gone more than a few paces however, she stops and turns around. 

“Mildred ... I’m glad you’re happy. I really am. And ... I hope you find a doctor.” 

Mildred doesn’t reply; she doesn’t need too. She just nods her appreciation, and she knows that Betsy understands. 

Mildred waits outside to watch Betsy get into her car and drive away, before she turns and re-enters the motel room. Gwendolyn is still sitting on the bed, her expression tense and expectant. 

“Well?” she asks tentatively, as Mildred re-opens her suitcase and makes room for the bottle of wine from Betsy, “How did it go?” 

“Pretty well, actually,” Mildred replies, as she closes the case, “I wasn’t sure what to expect, but ... Betsy’s a good friend. A better friend than I gave her credit for. We can trust her.”

Gwendolyn visibly relaxes, and a smile spreads across her face. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” Gwen’s eyes sparkle as she reaches for Mildred, takes hold of her hands, and gently pulls her into her lap. “Now, where were we?”

**Author's Note:**

> So I hope that any of that was enjoyable to read (I was really tired when I wrote this so its probably all nonsensical :-/ ). I love getting feedback, so let me know your thoughts in the comments.


End file.
